Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Duty Calls, Time to kill Undead Nazis

As you may have noticed I review games that are somewhat close to my heart. Also you may have noticed some of these games are a few years old. That does not mean they are bad or outdated and I’m sure there are still people out there that have not experienced the zombie killing thrills of the “Nazi Zombies mode” of Call of Duty: World at War. 
Now what’s so special about these zombies? Well for starters they are living dead people but these zombies pack a Jew-killing punch. They are Nazi Zombies! The idea of the game is to survive as many rounds as you can. There is no victory to be achieved, just a personal record to break every time. You gain points by killing zombies or repairing windows, from which the bastards are trying to get in. With points you can purchase weapons off the walls or the mystery box that gives you a random weapon. You can also open locked doors with these points in order to advance in the map. There are 4 maps in the game mode, each more fun than the last. The first map “Nacht der untoten” (translates: Night of the undead) is just a simple 3 room zombie killing fest. By purchasing map packs for the game (the bundle is around €24) you can get 3 more Nazi zombie maps for the game. If you liked the first map, which is free, you’ll love the 3 others. They have more diversity and more room for strategical manoeuvres. You gain access to traps, character upgrades, different weapons and weapon upgrades. All and all it’s great coop fun as long as everyone plays fair and works together.
Now comes my favorite part of the review: talking about how the game sucks. However I can’t really say anything bad about Nazi Zombies as a game. Sure it was made by Treyarch which is Infinity Ward’s retarded cousin who’s always trying to copy everything IW does. *cough*blackops*cough*, but still it’s very well balanced… for a minigame. After playing Nazi Zombies I noticed that I’ve grown a certain hatred towards dogs. Those god damn devil dogs that spawn out of nowhere in the last 2 maps every 5 rounds will make you lose your mind. They run as fast as you sprint and sometimes bug and run through walls.  
I must say paying for the map packs sucked balls. That kind of idea is just evil. Making me pay more for something I like is never nice. I’d say it’s an insult to the fans.  I first have to pay around €60 for a game that I hardly ever played and then sink more money into it because of an epic minigame it has. It’s all the more reason to hate Treyarch. Bunch of greedy tossers they are. 

In conclusion: Loved it. You can play it alone, split screen with a friend or online. Recommending it to anyone who likes to blow off some steam and see bits of undead flesh flying about. Also recommending it if you have unsettled business… with Nazis.

Monday, October 4, 2010

Sucker for hockey(?)

Let me start by saying I’m not a hockey fanatic but I do support the Finnish hockey team when it’s time to try for the world championship. Playing NHL 2k10, I realized how much I enjoy seeing my team get goals. I was jumping up and down and yelling my girlish screams of victory even when I was home alone and then cursing whenever my goalie couldn’t save a snap shot from the blue line. I also shouted at the players and referees for being donkey holes or just for their plain stupidity. Which brings me to what’s wrong with the game: the controls… my god, they are awful. It’s like trying to control a deaf blind man in a tar pit. Of course playing against AI players which are all embedded inside some kind of hivemind where they share each other’s senses and understand the pattern of everyone’s movements, it’s hard for me, a human player, to share this power with my team. I have to literally do EVERYTHING myself. A good example of this  would be that when in offensive I try to pass the puck towards a friendly AI player’s route of movement (as in where he was SUPPOSED to be skating towards) immediately after the puck left my character’s handling the AI thought we had lost the puck and started skating towards the defensive zone. At first I didn’t mind all that much but as I’ve played more and more I’ve noticed this sh*t happens ALL THE BLOODY TIME. It’s like my team has lost every bit of skill they have at playing hockey and I have to take over. Not being a fan neither a long time player of the series it seems a bit unfair. Sure I could crank the difficulty down a notch or two but that would make me a homosexual. 

NHL2k10 is a good party game however. I played it with my friend last Friday before going out to drink some booze etc. The only thing was that we got so pulled in by the versus mode that before we even knew it was midnight. So again a game’s best side is brought out by the multiplayer function, which is pretty controversial. I wise man once said that “a game needs to be able to support itself on single player alone” and this is what I agree with. Then again, a game like NHL 2k10 which is mostly about teamwork cannot be blamed for this.  

In conclusion:  

I enjoyed it, but whether or not you will, I do not know. Ask yourself this: are you ready to spend a few hours first learning to play a sports game in order to be good at it, AND will you get the same kind of thrills as I get when you see a circular piece of vulcanized rubber penetrate the insides of a rectangular fishing net with iron bars. If yes then by all means try NHL2k10. I did, and it surprised me in a positive way.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Thoughts that keep me up at night

Hey hey hey! It's sunday which means I'm not going to put much effort into this update... so here's a small list of things that keep me up at night.

If you've been deaf all your life, do you hear anything in your dreams

And for that matter; if you've been BLIND all your life do you even see dreams?

Why can we never see pigeons when they're young.

Why is it so easy to remember the things I would like to forget?

Okay your turn!