The fifth of the Evils which are Resident

Yesterday I posted a review on my thoughts about horror games. Despite what I said about what kind of horror games I like it does not mean I am against the first type of horror games. If you don’t know what I’m talking about read the review I posted yesterday.

Resident Evil 5 is the “fifth” game in the Resident Evil series because the mathematical skills of Capcom’s employees suck. The plot consists of former S.T.A.R.S. operative Chris Redfield having to go to Africa to apprehend a group of terrorists that have bio-organic weapons. When there he meets his partner a west African 20-something year old hottie named Sheva Alomar. Now I had watched the trailers and read the previews about the game etc. but at this point I realized that this game would be about as frightening as a 6-year old girl that you can see through walls. When you’re given a partner you no longer feel alone. You won’t get the scary feeling of having to survive on your own when someone has your back. Another thing that makes the game less scary is the fact that the main character’s bicep is about as big as his head which makes punching zombies in the face a worthy laugh. The gameplay is alright and the controls don’t bugger much but if you don’t have a HUMAN friend to play the game with you, you’re out of luck. The AI in this game (more specifically you’re partners AI) sucks heavy hippopotamus balls. For example every time you’re even the slightest bit injured your partner comes over and uses a health spray that recovers all of your HP and this is just one of the things that ticks me off. I can’t even count the times I wanted to strangle someone over the idiocity of my AI-partner. But like I said playing with a friend makes the game a lot easier and more fun.

Besides the crappy partner problem of the game (which can be solved by good social contacts) the inventory system is just as awful. Let me give you an example. You have 9 spaces for inventory items, from which only ammo and grenades are stackable. Everything else takes up one space. So if you’re carrying 9 healing herbs they take as much space as, oh let’s say, 9 AK-47s. It’s INSANE. And another thing, if you want to use a body armor THAT TAKES UP A SPACE AS WELL. I mean what the f*ck?? You’re carrying an armor in the pocket of your armor? Someone should get hanged for this.

In conclusion: I like RE5 even though it has a few flaws. I must say that playing it with my mate was the most fun I can have with my pants on and still be straight. I’m recommending it to anyone who has a platform that can support it and atleast one friend. If you don’t have a friend kidnap a hobo and play with him… or her.